Father Christmas was arrested last night for a string of criminal offences including breaching the Data Protection Act as well as alleged Stalking and Harassment.
This news has come at the worst possible time, a week before Christmas and so soon after the rumoured infidelity of Father Christmas. A source close to Mrs Mary Christmas claims ‘she’s on the brink, but is being comforted by many of the elves close to the couple’. Although Father Christmas denies the fling saying it was an imposter and was not him the witness of Father Christmas’s rumoured smooch with a mystery woman has made the following statementâ€¦
‘I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peek
She thought I was tucked
Up in my bedroom fast asleep.
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!‘
In regards to the Stalking and Harassment allegations over ten people have come forward claiming to be concerned that Father Christmas has detailed personal information about them and that they’re unaware of how he obtained such details. One person has claimedâ€¦
‘He sees you when you’re sleeping,
He knows when you’re awake,
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake’
The news about the Data Protection Act breach is not the first time we have heard about Father Christmas’s poor document management. It has been discovered this year that Father Christmas has never ever destroyed any correspondence including wish lists! This means he is storing a lot of out of date information which is costing a lot of money in rental of office space in addition to breaching principle 5 of the Data Protection Actâ€¦
‘principle 5 requires you to retain personal data no longer than is necessary for the purpose you obtained it for’
Father Christmas has made a statement in which he claims he thought he was doing the right thing and was keeping all wish lists and naughty and nice lists ‘just in case they were required in the future!’ We’re unaware of actions that might be taken but we could see Father Christmas given a custodial sentence or a hefty Information Commissioners Office fine!
The only good news to come from this very sad story is that present production is on track and every good little boy and girl will have presents delivered on Christmas Eve!
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Merry Christmas from DataSpace!